The Match Maker Who Broke My Heart

Gw itu old school. Merasa bahwa being aggressive to my opposite sex is kinda...not wrong tapi inappropriate.

Selama hampir 2 tahun terakhir ini, gw melanggar semua batasan taboo gw. For the first time in my life. Krn he is so special. That this time I couldn't let him go even if I have to pay the price.

Tiba2 datang seseorang yg menyatakan bahwa dia adalah my match maker. That he asked her to watch over me for him. Which is really convenient krn gw bisa kembali as who I am. And I feel safe. Bisa titip2 salam, titip makanan & tiny little things that I think he might needed. 

I was happy until suddenly the match maker was mad at me, just because a small misunderstanding. Then suddenly she sang a different tune. Before she said that this guy is really attentive, such a sweet heart. Then suddenly he became a beast. Telling her that he despised me. That he hated me. She said,  you are in love with a scoundrel. That this guy has been with so many women. 

Then I hitted rock bottom.

I really didn't understand what was going on. I mean, I am not blind. I watched his eyes and I have never seen any ill feeling towards me. I know when a man feels like that. I used to live with someone who despise me for more than 13 years. I was broken hearted. Not because of this man. But because of her stories. I felt like I was dealing with Dr Jeckill and Mr. Hide.

After a while, things were started to get better.  She said, he was in the right mind now. He doesn't hate me anymore. But then, she started to matched me with someone else.

My daughter begged, mommy please talk to him directly. You will never know whether what you sent to him was received by him. I don't want anyone to use you. I know you have a very kind, soft heart toward any individual who can touch your heart. But you were always ended up broken heart. I don't want you to be sad for the second time because I think I know how much you love oom...mommy please don't cry...I can see you are holding back your tears and your nose is getting red.

I am totally confused. Perhaps you are not a good idea after all. Perhaps I made a wrong judgment. Mungkin kamu memang separah yg dia bilang. Who knows?

You are beautiful, Babe. I really miss you. But who are you? I mean...the real you?